About two years ago I started this journey. Another vagabond with no real destination I guess. I found mindfulness included three things for me
- Walking. This has been the basic thing for me for a long time but how and what and why have changed. It started as a thing but slowly evolved from marking my route on an app and the distance to wandering cities on vacations to just going now. Every day just going. Sometimes I just lose sight of any particular feelings or desires with it. Both in and out of a zone. Other times small things grab me. That leaf hurtling down the street. The other person walking toward me, meeting, then leaving. Perhaps a park or building that captures me. Then maybe on my walk I stop there for water. Sitting on a bench or the street or awning of a closed business. Watching but not expecting.
- Yoga. My how this has changed for me. From directed or guided sessions on an app to 30 minutes or more or less on my own. No direction or guide or goal. I know the asanas I want. The ones that make me feel and want and just reach some same being state with Apple Music going. It has never been a duty but when I started I wanted the daily thing so I would keep going. Now it just is. Now I just go. And feel. And be.
- Meditation. I guess meditation kinda started the same time. Perhaps the companion of the first two but it has dawned on me for the all practice methods and techniques, apps, sessions, YouTube videos that I really needed to find my own way. My meditation and not someone else’s focus or lack or mumbling phrases. Instead it became a mirror of the other things for me. Just being. I think I took this gratefully from one meditation instructor I followed on the Calm app. Jeff Warren told many times in the daily sessions to just be. Or Be. Perhaps with the big B. But sometimes without. I came to realize we cannot just do another person’s practice but must find the magical ingredients to make it our own. Using an app is like reading a recipe to cook and then realizing you really want to make the thing your own so more of this, less of that, add a pinch of wonder.
Yeah. A pinch of wondering and wandering. In all three I have realized no one can guide me to what it is I want. My finished product is never so a session going for just so long avails me not. Life for me is not some finished product or timelines or goals. Those are false prophets of my life. Instead I think sometimes I just am but I am with faults and strange little diatribes and detours. So my mindfulness is that way.
There is no mindfulness. There is my mindfulness. I believe after two years or so we must find our own path. Posting on reddit, following an app, out of body experiences, strange mental images. Those are other people following yet other people. Yoga with… Meditation with… Walking with…
No. For me my mindfulness is not a purpose or a goal but a wonder and wandering in the wonder. I cannot say,
here give this a try it will free your mind, make your body feel elastic and your feet go forever
Because my wonder is your boredom. Isn’t it wonderful and sublime we each have to find our own way. Perhaps challenging when one just wants another person to guide them, show them, teach them. In the end though, it is me finding my way. Not me finding your way.
Welcome to your wonder. There is only your reflection.